#20 - Spice Spice Baby
I want to start off lightheartedly by saying: of course I would do a generationally appropriate song pun for this blog’s title! LOL!!!
It is Saturday morning and to honor my new blog deadline…the realization that the post is due before 11:59pm tonight is sinking in; this mindset is not out of procrastination…it’s out of contemplation, honoring my newly bestowed assignment to the fullest, and carefully praying over it. Keeping in mind that it is Saturday morning, I have been up since 4:00am…I have prayed, I have made coffee for MGST and I before he goes on duty, taken my vitamins and blood thinner, let our dog out, watered and fed our dog (which is more than just putting food in a bowl because she’s spoiled - just sayin’), fed and watered our cats, and folded a load of laundry. As I folded the laundry this morning…I considered the fact that I may be trying to avoid writing this blog, but in my heart…this blog is inevitable…God knows this…I know this…and you will know this. Have you ever seen the 90’s comedic cartoon “King of the Hill” (1997) created by Mike Judge and Greg Daniels? If not…don’t worry I will give you a brief synopsis because there is no need to take your time to watch it; it’s just merely 90’s nostalgia for me here - LOL!!! King of the Hill is based around a family in Arlen, Texas where the father of the family works as a propane salesman and his motto for his job is, “Taste the meat, not the heat”. I am going to do my best to embrace that motto for this blog…I want this blog to be spiritually nutritional without it being overly “spiced” AKA my personal heat heavily involved. I don’t know what Holy Spirit has entirely planned for this to be honest because I really really really didn’t want to write this particular blog…but I am going with the Holy Spirit’s flow here (one of my favorite things to experience) with an obedient heart.
At the end of the last blog that I wrote (New Cheer, Who Dis?) I stated, “I am inspired to do a series on the “Seven Spirits” and to dive into those elements and how the stages of enemy attacks can affect them.” I was (and to be intentional: still am excited for) that Holy Spirit given assignment and even more so…on task for; like a basketball game, I was set up perfectly for a slam dunk of a post. As of yesterday morning, via a Holy Spirit VIM…I was given a special game-changing assignment. So you may be thinking “if Holy Spirit told her to write this blog…why doesn’t she want to write it? Truthfully, I have three answers here…#1: I thrive in organization and by sticking to a gameplan. #2: It is a sensitive and potentially messy subject with the divinely given holy spicy kicker that…”not only do I need this but others need to read this too”. #3: It may make some people upset which is never my goal…but it also wasn’t my initial assignment to write about this either which supports the fact that the information in this blog post isn’t just about me and certainly not just for me…it’s far more and far greater than me or anyone else that reads it. I am just coming at this with the calling to get this message out with authentic levels of holy humility, grace, and mercy because conviction is coming in this blog for God’s kingdom. Lord knows…it’s not only pastors, clergy, or elders that God uses to get messages out… all of God’s children are to have a relationship with Jesus…to have a relationship with anyone means we must invest time with one another and to communicate. This blog’s communication goals are from Holy Spirit who has required me to replace my emotions with Biblical truth; believe me… I have certainly done A LOT of editing (thanks mom for the wisdom - LOL). With all of that in mind, I am a human who is imperfect so I will do my best to prevail in what God has called me to do here and now…even as I remember what church hurt feels like to be relatable….even when I’d rather fold laundry at 4:30am on a Saturday…even if I don’t want to write about this.
I keep hearing about church hurt in sermons, some people I know are experiencing church hurt…some people I know have experienced church hurt in the past, some people I don’t know are experiencing church hurt, some people I don’t know have experienced church hurt in the past…and I have personally experienced church hurt. The divine “ask” is that if you are or have experienced church hurt…or know someone that has or is experiencing church hurt…please read this fully to take the spiritual nutrients from it and apply it for ecosystemic growth and the health behind it that is to help further God’s kingdom as he has called us to do.
Friends, we know revival is (and has been) upon us; God’s children are called (sometimes called back even) to have a relationship with Him, His only son Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit. We experience God’s grace and mercy upon us, we feel Jesus’s unconditional love for us, we bear witness to Holy Spirit’s guidance (especially with God’s non-coincidences and miracles) which is so pulchritudinous and truly extraordinary to have these opportunities and relationships. But here’s where the spice comes in…God calls us to have relationships with each other as well. Colossians 3:16 (CSB) tells us, “Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” This is proof we are to be in biblical community and sometimes…that can be difficult to navigate when there are lots of people, personalities, opinions, and perspectives…and when church hurt occurs as a result of those elements. God hears the cries of those who have experienced church hurt and the cries of those are experiencing church hurt…which is precisely what this blog is about; church hurt…a potentially messy, sensitive, and “spicy” subject that I was called to breach.
There is detrimental stagnation in churches across the world that is NOT supposed to be there…we are called to work together for God’s kingdom…not working against one another…division is exactly what the enemy wants and this stagnation in the church is unhealthy for the body of Christ, for your brothers and sisters in Christ, and for the community outside the walls of the church (especially for those that don’t have a relationship with Christ). I’m going to take a moment to shoutout to what I should have been writing about this week; the stages of the enemy’s attack listed in the blog post, “in “New Cheer, Who ‘Dis”:
Stage 1: Confusion
Stage 2: Chaos
Stage 3: Theft
Stage 4: Destroy
Stage 5: Kill
The enemy wants us to be stagnate, divided, and emotional because it’s easy Stage 1 and Stage 2 attacks which as we know can lead into deeper attacks. OUR emotions are confusing as it is (especially because they are finite and God is infinite). Our personal emotions have the ability to produce chaos and confusion (like church hurt) which are easily attacked and manipulated by the enemy. Anger and hurt are emotions frequently intertwined with church hurt. I am going to remind us all that Jesus showed righteous anger in Matthew 21:12-13 (CSB), "Jesus went into the temple and threw out all those buying and selling. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves. He said to them, “It is written, my house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of thieves!”. Deviating from God’s plan buy hurting others may not take away God’s unconditional love for us…but it does impact our relationships which we are called to be. In fact, hurting others and deviating from God’s plan is a form of robbery; it robs peace, joy and love from others and ourselves…it robs the image bearer of reflecting who God is…LOVE.
The church hurt that I felt in my past was “entitled anger”. Entitled anger is personal, internal, emotional, potentially destructive, leaves us open to enemy attacks, immoral, unjust, selfish, exclusive, and dishonors God’s plan. In other words, having entitled anger is being self-reliant (a form of pride) instead of giving it to God and here’s some spice…IMO pride is the core to ALL sin; the mindset that “we know better than God” is the precursor to missing the mark (sinning). So it’s easy for us to hold onto that entitled anger instead of giving it to God and sometimes we even act upon our anger and let our emotions deviate God’s plan for us which in turn can hurt others and ourselves. If we are in a relationship with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit…know that it hurts them to watch us struggle with entitled anger or be the one to cause entitled anger because we are loved God only good for us and our lives, When we hold onto anger…it can have consequences because we are ecosystemically woven: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually are all tied together, so when anger is in one of those systems…the potential for the consequences of that to spread to other systems is likely if you’re holding onto it. Anger can also spread by hurting others. God loves us so much that He gave us HIS ONLY SON FOR GRACE AND HIS MERCY IS LOVE…we don’t have to hold onto that anger or hurt others!!! God gave us free will to make choices to honor Him and further His kingdom…and even equipped us with The Truth (The Bible) to be able to let go of the entitled anger, to love one another, and rely upon Him in faith and trust that He knows what is best for us. On the flipside of entitled anger there is “righteous anger”...this is precisely the anger Matthew was writing about in Matthew 21:12-13. Before I get into righteous anger…I understand that the world likes to be “subjective” on defining morals and opinions are rampantly vast in culture…today I am INTENTIONALLY LETTING YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT WRITING ON MY OWN AUTHORITY BUT ON BEHALF OF THE HOLY SPIRIT AND THE LORD YOUR GOD…you can try to angle definitions to manipulate culturally subjective morals based on your opinions all you want but you cannot hide or run from God or His truth…He knows everything…He knows you regardless if you believe in Him or not…true morals are Biblically founded…and anything that deviates from God’s truth isn’t moral…period. I have no need to argue with you either…because my faith is not in people. The point is…just because the word “righteous” has the word “right” in it…doesn’t mean YOU’RE right for being angry because that is going back to entitled anger which is selfish and not about being “right”. Righteous anger is actually the opposite of entitled anger: impersonal, external, builds people and things up, leaves us open to holy opportunities, moral, just, selfless, inclusive and honors God's plan. But wait…what about the word, “emotional” because that’s in both?! Yep, Jesus was clearly emotional in righteous anger mode in Matthew to the point He flipped tables over in the temple…but those emotions weren't JUST HIS OWN, they weren’t interfering with God’s plan…instead He was doing God’s righteous work!!! Let me give you a personal example. I love my dad (a dad and a father are not the same but can be the same - my dad is married to my mom). Hypothetically speaking for this example’s sake, say my dad and I are building a house together (a house signifies sanctuary)...and someone comes in and desecrates it…I would be most unhappy in my imperfect humanity and as a repercussion of that unhappiness would stem entitled anger because what happened wasn’t fair…now I gotta call the insurance company, replace A, B, C, D…etc.! Jesus showed righteous anger because He is perfect. It’s okay to be emotional in righteous anger…but if you are hurting someone or let your emotions interfere with who God is…Love…it is not righteous anger. Your emotions should never come before God.
So what does righteousness actually mean? Merriam Webster has several definitions for the definition of righteous along with slang (which I am going to incorporate to tie this definition together in a cute little bow):
#1: acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin.
Divine and moral law = The Bible. Period. No alterations…no take backs. If it’s not Biblical…and you’re in a situation where you feel things are out of control…give it to God and open your Bible…it’s not called “the book of death” it’s called THE BOOK OF LIFE FOR A REASON…SO THAT WE CAN THRIVE IN THIS LIFE ACCORDING TO GOD’S PLAN FOR US AND HIS KINGDOM!!!
#2: morally right or justifiable.
This is the part where humanity wants to have subjective opinions that are often manipulated for agendas that deviate from Biblical truth and God’s plan. No one knows better than God (pride)…and that sin has consequences: Romans 6:23 (CSB), “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Don’t try to manipulate things for your plan or another human’s plan…the victory will not be yours…it belongs to God in all of HIS glory.
#3: arising from an outraged sense of justice or morality.
OUTraged…NOT INraged. This goes back to entitled anger where it is “inward”. Entitled anger is exclusive meaning only privy to yourself or those you choose to have involved…this is destructive (I can even take this further and go back to the “stages of enemy attacks” and say Stage 4 - Destroy). Righteous anger is inclusive because it involves others with Holy Spirit led authenticity and grace ONLY given to us by Jesus Christ to be able to build others and ourselves up and working together for God’s kingdom and His plan for us.
#4: The slang term for genuine and excellent.
This isn’t just a “hippie” term, friends…I find it no coincidence that the slang term for “righteous” is genuine (authentic) or excellent…both of which are part of God’s plan for our lives here and now. The cute little bow!
Notice that the word “fair” is not anywhere in the definition of “righteous”. Life is not fair which means sometimes we won’t be treated “fairly”. The moments where life seems unfair…ask yourself if one of these things could be going on:
-Is this a growth or character development opportunity?
-Are you not getting what YOU want so you’re throwing your entitled anger around?
-Are you being spared with God’s mercy? Remember that mercy and grace are two different things: mercy is God sparing you from what is not in His plan for you. We know God’s plan for us is GOOD so if something isn’t GOOD for us…he doesn’t want it for us…not all things that are good for one person will be good for another person…we all may be made in God’s image but we are all called for different things with God’s Kingdom and Jesus Christ at the center of our calling.
-Are you giving grace? We were given unconditional grace by the blood and sacrifice of God’s ONLY Son Jesus Christ…so if you were given grace…I pray you have the ability to give grace onto others.
-Is this situation going to cause you to sin (miss the mark) or hurt others?
-Are you possibly encountering an enemy attack?
In the midst of my church hurt…I didn’t consider any of those things. In the aftermath of my church hurt, I realized that I was mercifully spared from further church hurt…and then I basked in overwhelming gratitude of knowing that God transformed the pain caused by man into joy with the solid daily reminder to not repeat what was done to me; just as Luke 6:31 (CSB) says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”.
So…how did I regain my peace after experiencing church hurt?
I put on my armor:
Ephesians 6:10-18 isn’t my phone wallpaper for no good reason. I MUST read this numerous times…daily. Putting on the armor of God is not just a “Oh I put this on one day and I am good for the rest of my life” sort of thing…it’s daily…so I encourage you to read this scripture DAILY!!! Why? I have an amazing friend named Rebecca who without a doubt is led by Holy Spirit for numerous reasons but for this blog’s purpose…this beautiful lady manages to share literally the best graphic quotes at the perfect time to impact me. This last week she shared a graphic with the following quote on it, “ The enemy lies well because he knows the truth well. You’d better know the truth well so you can discern the lies well.” Putting on the armor of God is imperative for defense against the enemy’s attacks and allows us to know the truth well because it is forged in truth itself. Ephesians 6:10-18 clearly says, “Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. For this reason take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest, and your feet sandaled with readiness for the gospel of peace. In every situation take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit—which is the word of God. Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.
Pray & Assess & Pray:
Pray!!! Pray!!! Pray!!! Before you act or say anything…cry out to The Lord!!! Utilize the wisdom given to us in the entire book of Proverbs.
When you’re in those situations, assess the above “fairness” question that I mentioned earlier:
-Is this a growth or character development opportunity?
-Are you not getting what YOU want so you’re throwing your entitled anger around?
-Are you giving grace?
-Is this situation going to cause you to sin (miss the mark) or hurt others?
-Are you possibly encountering an enemy attack?
-Is this an opportunity to love?
-Is this mercy?
Pray again!!! “Pray not until God hears you but until you hear God”.
Seek trusted counsel in biblical community:
Wait…we are talking about church hurt…why go to people in the church or within biblical community? Because someone out there cares…not everyone is like the person that hurt you. Righteous anger is inclusive…rely on Holy Spirit and the gift of discernment to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, elders, clergy, or pastors. Pastors EVERYWHERE…I pray that you make time to meet with members of the church that are experiencing church hurt…because if you’re willing to go out and make disciples outside of the church (which any good pastor and child of Christ should be doing)…don’t forget to invest time for those that are dedicated with their TEAM (Time, Energy, Attention, and Money) each week. God understands that your time is important…but everyone’s time is important; don’t negate the facts that there are people experiencing church hurt in the body of Christ you were called to lead and that you use your free will to serve at. Do not deny or overlook the very sheep you were called to help lead.
Communicate Respectfully:
In the past, I have had to make time to fellowship with those that have hurt me by authentically communicating face to face to remove technological relational division. I am going to stress face to face because problem solving electronically isn’t efficient and strips authenticity away from building things up. I believe it is easy for the enemy to attack within technology; God made this physical life for us…and technology leaves lots of opportunities for confusing miscommunications to occur all while interfering with that physical life we are meant to LIVE with one another. Living and existing are two separate things…we are meant to live…not exist. Digitally we can only exist…physically we can live or exist but God’s plan is for us to LIVE. God means for us to be authentic and vulnerable with one another in physical moments to build each other and His kingdom UPWARDS. So you are encouraged to communicate respectfully face to face as stated above to build God’s kingdom up…not tear it down. This means…taking responsibility for your righteous anger…your entitled anger or pride should not be a part of that conversation. If you are still feeling entitled anger or pride…before going into that conversation…make sure you have prayed for it all to be removed in the name of Jesus Christ. Blaming another party is easy to do in entitled anger so instead, think selflessly within alternate perspectives and contemplate, “What if this would happen to someone else?” “What if this would happen to you?” “How would you feel if…?” In other words, when you’re in confrontation…ask questions…don’t blame. Like in Proverbs 4:7 (NIV), “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” It seems so cut and dry, “The beginning of wisdom…get wisdom”. Wisdom is understanding and to understand a question must be asked. So at any cost, seek to understand…SEEK…ask questions…listen…hear…understand…invest face to face time with respectful communication. And one last communication pro tip that is clearly written in James 1:19 (CSB), “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
Act and Respond in Holiness & Humility:
If pride is the base of all sin, acting and responding in humility is vital. Know you aren’t perfect and don’t expect perfection from others…God doesn’t even expect us to be perfect…he wants free-willed relationship with us…His wonderfully made child and beautiful creation. So we know that if no one is perfect…no church, no worship team…no pastor…no elders…no clergy…no brother or sister in Christ…no one outside of biblical community will be perfect. The common denominator…we all aren’t perfect…and we all need our savior Jesus Christ. We aren’t called to be perfect…we are called to be holy. I believe 1 John 4:4-6 emphasizes holiness, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.” Again, holy doesn’t mean perfect…it means “set apart” and keeping that in mind…I don’t know if you’ve been on social media lately but you can see the numerical differences between those that are set apart and humble versus those that are not. John Mark Comer coined the term, “digital babylon” and adding to digital babylon is the “culture over kingdom” mindset when we all should be having a united “kingdom over culture” mindset. We don’t know more than God (we never will) and we don’t know what we are missing out on or how detrimental the consequences are when we put our pride and our plans above God…it could hurt someone. Going back to 1 Peter 5:5-10 (CSB), “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.” The fruit produced by humility will always be good…the fruit produced by pride will visibly rot or cease to grow (going back to stagnation).
Remembering where my faith and heart is:
By making sure my peace was founded in Jesus and nothing more. My faith is not in perfection. My faith is not in performance. My faith is not in animals. My faith is not in people. My faith is in God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and God’s Biblical truth to nourish my spirit. My faith is also in the trusting relationship that I have with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I was trusted to write this new assignment and to let every single biblical community be reminded that God is all knowing…He sees the church hurt….He sees injustices…He sees pride…He sees the wolves in sheeps clothing…WAKE UP CHURCHES THERE IS STILL TIME TO FIX THE CHURCH HURT…this is proper conviction with righteous anger!!! There is hope for the hurting hearts that have experienced or are experiencing church hurt in 1 Peter 5:10 (CSB), “The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little while.” Friends, my heart is with you…but please know that God is not the cause of your church hurt…it is imperfect humans hopefully trying to learn and grow…so do not put your faith in them…remember that your faith belongs in God…who gave his only son Jesus Christ to restore, establish, strengthen, and support us after our temporary pain.
And last but not least…knowing where my faith and heart is…I have seen this last point come to fruition time and time again…which is also one of many reasons I know God is real….
Let The Lord fight for you!
Righteous anger isn’t about “who” is right but rather “what” is right according to God’s truth and God’s truth states in Exodus 14:14 (KJV), “The Lord shall fight for you and you shall hold your peace.” Now I know that when I previously wrote about this particular verse I wrote about “being still”... I intentionally used this version because of the word “peace”...YOU SHALL HOLD YOUR PEACE. Yes, it’s another phrase for “be still” but think about this in the midst of church hurt…holding your peace is keeping peace close to you. Keep Jesus close to you…Phillipians 4:7 (CSB) states, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” And last but not least for this one: John 16:33 (CSB), “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” The Lord already has victory over your church hurt so continue to give it to Him and be led by Holy Spirit on how to respond in love. Be courageous and let it go…you don’t have to fight the battle alone or even at all. God knows everything. Don’t let your emotions create division.
Go to the start & remember who and what God is and how we are to treat each other:
1 John 4: 7-21, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. Rebecca managed to share another perfect graphic with this quote on it, “The test of loving like Christ is not loving Jesus…it is loving Judas.” So if we go back to the beginning and we know that God is love…and we know that He sacrificed His own flesh and blood via His only son Jesus Christ…surely we can sacrifice our comfort zones (which again we aren’t called to remain in anyways) to love our brothers and sisters in Christ and beyond…even when they don’t treat us fairly. There is enough suffering in this world…we do not need to be the cause of hurt upon each other or to spread pain within our ecosystems or potentially onto others as well.
You get to take your pick on where to listen to this week’s song “Church Hate” by Johnny Paige. I am not sure if this is a new song or he just hasn’t released it on YouTube but you have a couple options on how to listen to it. I pray that you find a way to listen to it because it hits home as I continue to hear about all the church hurt around me.
Spotify: Spotify - "Church Hate" by Johnny Paige
OR
TikTok: TikTok - "Church Hate" by Johnny Paige
It is now around 7:30pm Saturday as I am finishing this up after working on this literally all morning, afternoon, evening, and night and to that I say: “GOOD” and…for continuing to be unabashedly surrendered to God in His truth and honoring Abba with obedience even outside of my comfort zone…I am unapologetically…
#Satisfied
