#4: “Bee-ing a Holy Weirdo”
It is written in God’s truth that death’s sting is overcome by Jesus. I have written about personal near experiences of that sting; through each NDE that I have had…there’s been blatant proof that God himself is real, His love for us surpasses all other love, and His word holds true…forever and always. Last month, I literally got stung by a bee. This may not be a big deal to some people, however I am very allergic to bee stings and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I didn’t have to go to the hospital because of my obedience and active listening to Holy Spirit. So the entire experience of being stung was a big deal and has permanently impacted my life. I am NOT speaking on this boast but instead to communicate that…GOD IS VERY REAL AND GOD IS VERY PRESENT. If you haven’t noticed yet…God’s love and the reality of his presence is a pattern within this blog. You see, I don’t NEED to prove God is real, He does that for himself and ultimately it is up to you to make the choice to have faith…or not. I am not responsible for that choice either…but I wouldn’t be doing what God has called me to do if I didn’t encourage you to have a relationship with Jesus and to submit to God’s will for your life. What I will say is…I WANT to add to the living proof of how God has impacted my life because in my heart, I KNOW He is alive, real, and waiting for the rest of his children to take up their crosses and follow his only son, Jesus Christ. I pray the Holy Spirit moves you the way that I am moved…closer to Abba, having an active relationship with our savior Jesus, and intentionally listening to Holy Spirit.
When I first came to the church that I attend, I was in rough shape mentally and emotionally and through time, repentance, sanctification, service, relationship, submission, and obedience (probably some other “ion” words in there that I missed too-LOL) did I realize that I have a church family again…and I feel that I am lead and fed by some of the best pastors I could have ever hoped for. Unfortunately, the lead pastor of the church (let’s call him Sr.) has been chronically and critically ill. As someone that works in the medical field…this particular illness doesn’t just go away and it can impact any age or gender. Sadly, for most people that have this illness…they know that it’s usually a life-long and expensive battle. I’ve had friends (even friends that are nurses) that struggle with this illness and between the unrealistic cost of medication and life changing surgeries because of this particular illness…it can take a toll mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. One of my friends who is a nurse, had surgery done due to this illness in her 40’s at the time. I vividly remember the night she had her surgery and how our unit gathered at the hospital to support her afterwards. Even though she had surgery to help with the illness…she would continue to battle it like the warrior she is. I know Sr. is a warrior as well. I know with every cell of my being that if anyone can successfully battle this illness…it’s the child of God called to help lead a church of approximately 1500 people and feed all who encounters him The Word of God. I am grateful that it has a stellar and compassionate support system that contains a loving and beautiful wife, intelligent and helpful children, and a church family that reinforces he and his family’s ecosystemic needs (ecosystemic = mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually). I’ve only experienced a church family display this ecosystemic love once in my lifetime…and I am proud, elated, and grateful to have experienced this once again.
For weeks I had heard that Sr. was ill and one particular Sunday we were asked by other pastors during service to raise a hand in the direction of his home and we prayed over him. I had a vision given to me later on that Sunday of people holding hands around Sr.’s home and praying. I felt like it was Holy Spirit nudging me to make it happen…but to be honest with you all…I was disobedient. Instead of praying (a willing communication with Abba through Jesus), I replied…”Who is going to listen to me? I’m new. I was weird when I first started going to church. I did some dumb things in my past. What would these people think about me even presenting this at this point as a member? And again…Who is going to listen to me?” I left it at that while sitting in my “introverted enneagram 5 head zone” and truthfully…in fear so ultimately, I made NO moves. I am going to put a pin in this story for a moment and shout out to Pastor JH. I took a class called “Discover Purpose” at church and the way that this man described Holy Spirit could NOT have been more accurate and it is seared into my mind. Pastor JH said, “Holy Spirit is like water…meant to flow through you…but if you aren’t obedient to Holy Spirit (God’s will)…that flow will redirect to and through someone else. God’s will gets done regardless if you are obedient or not, but you’re left with the consequence of being disobedient” My disobedience had a consequence…it was a missed opportunity to serve and I knew I needed to repent. I have said it before…I’ll say it again…I am NOT perfect. I gave our Holy creator a bunch of excuses out of personal fear.
God’s plan will always be triumphant; Holy Spirit continued to flow as it is meant to…and one beautiful, wonderful, and wise woman of our church was obedient to that calling and the vision of prayer that came to fruition…and it was an AMAZING experience. Part of my plan for repentance was to obviously be obedient to go, but beforehand…I wanted to get up early and have breakfast with a wonderful group of girls from church. I am still learning names and faces (it’s a very large church) but there were 4 of us total that had beautiful fellowship together and afterwards there were approximately 50-ish people (I may be botching this number-sorry to my church family if I am wrong here) who gathered to pray over Sr.’s health and his family. Heart postures were intentional with prayer, hands were held, voices were raised to Jesus for healing. It was everything I had seen and more. After we were done praying, the obedient member of the church that organized the prayer communicated to our large group that we were asked by another pastor to also pray over the church. I was all in for being obedient to Abba and invigorated by Jesus…so yeah…of course I am happily going to go pray over the church!!! As the group began walking from Sr.’s home back to the church, one of my many favorite people at church “TC” began a conversation with me about how she has been reading #Satisfied and was giving me words of encouragement with it (which I am so grateful for to this very day-thank you endlessly, Sister). As TC and I were talking and walking, I felt a familiar pain on the back of my left calf. I must’ve upset a bee by stepping near it because I was stung. From what I recall, I don’t believe I made it known that I had been stung because the conversation I was having was more important than the pain (mind over matter). With the way Holy Spirit works in me…it’s a near constant connection so as I am keeping up talking with TC, continuing to walk with the group from the pastor’s house back to church, I am having a whole conversation with Holy Spirit in my head and it went just like this: “Holy Spirit, I am going to have to go the hospital and I don’t want to concern others or give anyone more reason to think I am more of a weirdo than I already am (there’s my social anxiety friends). I’m scared and I don’t know what I am going to do right now…I was just stung by a bee. You know the severity of the situation here.” Holy Spirit’s immediate instructions: “Remain calm. Go to the church with the group. Touch every pillar while you pray.” Initially, I was perplexed because as I stated above, I work in the medical field and it is my instinct to seek medical care…but…I had already been disobedient once within this story and I really don’t enjoy repeating mistakes especially with an immediate health concern and ultimately if it goes against Abba’s plan for me. I was done falling short in disobedience. To my former self not having Christ live in me…I would’ve DASHED to the hospital and ignored those instructions. No one knew what I was battling at that moment until I realized that my Gram and Aunt were there (I had missed seeing them there initially). I DID DASH across the parking lot to say hello to them before they left as the rest of the group prayed over the church. I let them know what happened calmly so SOMEONE out there knew in caseI did need to go to the hospital but I was steadfast on being obedient…even if it injured me further…or killed me. By the time I ran back to the church, the group was walking around the building so I took the opportunity to begin at the pillar to the right, on the corner when looking at the church. I even got on my knees. I touched every pillar of that church. I gave it all to Abba and prayed my heart out for the church, Sr.’s health, Sr.' s family, the group I was praying with, the church members, and whatever was going to happen with this bee sting. None of it was mine to worry about…instead it was mine to give to Jesus and let God do the rest. God’s presence was felt that day in a multitude of ways. By the time that the group was done with prayer, I was still in the process of being obedient. Some of my friends had left already but I had said my goodbyes to those still around.
Knowing in my heart that I continued to touch every pillar of the building at the expense of “looking more like a weirdo” in front of the group that was gathered around talking after prayer…brought me less fear because...I was doing the right thing by being obedient…so what did it matter what I looked like? Spoiler alert…it didn’t. I struggle with fear and when I do…I realize now more than ever that it’s a way for the enemy to seclude me and interfere with my life. Fear has even interfered with music for me which is a sacred way to connect with Abba, but that’s a story for another day. As for the Saturday at hand, I had a very itchy bee sting site, a swollen leg, little throat tightness, sneezy, congestion, and mild dizziness…which was all temporary; other than that I was blessed with a clean bill of health and no medical intervention was needed. Believe it or not, despite it currently being approximately a month ago…I still have a leftover wound on my leg that occasionally still itches. I literally just put a new bandaid on it last night to be honest. The severity of my allergy is very real but God’s presence and power is more real than anything we endure here. God’s truth says “Walk by faith and not by sight.” This especially means in obedience and rebuking the enemy’s attacks through fear. My best advice from this learning experience: be brave…look like the “holy weirdo” God wants you to be.
To update you on Pastor Sr. … as a church family we were able to witness him share the message a couple Sundays ago at the altar. It was good to see him back in his element of filling our spirit’s with God’s word and truth. My hope and prayer for him is that he is embraced in a divine hedge of protection and the blood of our living savior Jesus Christ covers his body in healing so that he can continue to do what God has called him to do. Thank you Sr. for your service to God’s kingdom here on Earth as it is in Heaven. Thank you to the rest of the pastoral staff and elders at church for sharing the word of God with us and loving us enough to dedicate your (T.E.A.M. - Shout out to Pastor T at GCC for this acronym) Time, Energy, Attention, and Money to the church and community. You are all loved beyond measure and I am grateful for each and every one of you…as well as your families that I know lovingly support the obedience in your callings.
The story doesn’t end here non-coincidentally enough. I’ve said it before and I will say it again…there’s no coincidences with God. That weekend, my parents happened to be on vacation. I called my Mom to tell her about what happened but my Dad answered her phone as she was busy at the moment. As I was talking with him and asking him how he was doing, I could hear my Mom in the background excited about seeing something “so cool!”. I thought I was being cheeky when she got on the phone and instead of saying “Hello.” I said, “I got something for you even cooler than whatever it is you just saw!” I told her the story about the bee sting at church. She sent me the picture of what she was in awe over JUST BEFORE I spoke with her let alone told her about the bee sting…it was a picture of a VERY LARGE BEE in Missouri! We were both in shock and awe at that point! This story was wrapped up with a bow from our good good father, God the creator of the universe itself! I will say, this ending is also a precursor to further stories that I will share with the bond my Mom and I have…”we are not bonded by just an umbilical cord” (shout out to my Mom for that phrase) but we have the golden cord from Abba that connects us as sisters in Christ as well. In no way was that picture of the large bee merely coincidental…I feel like that was God blessing me with his presence even further and giving me further opportunity to share with others that He loves me, He loves you, and He wants to bless US with his presence. It is my prayer that we relentlessly pursue a relationship with The Holy Trinity. To have this opportunity to embrace that divine relationship while freely being a brave, obedient, and gratitude filled “holy weirdo” keeps me…
#Satisfied
