# 7 - “I Want To Ride My Bicycle”
As I have previously written about, I was born in Indiana and to be honest there’s probably not a city in northern Indiana that I have not lived in if that gives you any indication as to how many times I have moved due to life circumstances and even some poor choices in my past. I eventually landed in Michigan after having to emergency evacuate my home in Spring/Summer of 2024. I was dating and living with Jase who did not want me going to church or being a Christian. Things escalated quickly into becoming scary and volatile one particular Sunday after he requested that I no longer go to church and demanded that I reconsider reading tarot for a career because “that is what was attractive about me to him” and “I could make money doing it”. I refused his demands and instead I stood my ground which went terribly. Abuse and control took over the relationship and created fear inside of me. I had been through this before but I did not expect this out of Jase especially after telling him everything I had been through. I couldn’t even talk to him anymore about anything because it would get so ugly. So I quietly decided to get a storage unit and slowly move my things out little by little by myself. One day Jase noticed a lot of my stuff was gone and I had to immediately evacuate for my safety.
I want to take the opportunity to thank my dad and cousin for helping me move the rest of my stuff that day; I know I have thanked you guys but it’s been a year now and my heart is still so full of gratitude. I also want to thank my family for helping support me during all of this with encouragement to get out of that precarious situation and allowing me into your home.
I am not used to living with my family like I have been for the last year and have been fairly independent in my adulthood…yet my gratitude for my family is constant and I truly love them so much. In the midst of change, I’d be lying if I said that I don’t miss seeing my stuff and things around my living space; it feels like they are in a sarcophagus and to be honest…I still have trouble going to my storage unit; it makes me feel sad. I collect instruments…they’re all in there along with my decorations, furniture, and cherished memories. Needless to say, I miss having a home yet the economy took a very weird turn AND I ran from where God called me to be for 3 years out of pride…but I got there even if it was a nonlinear path…NONE of this is complaint but rather authentic vulnerability. If you truly want to know how I really feel about my life…watch this video: Jocko Willink "GOOD" (Official) Shout out to my gorgeous and amazing trooper for showing me that video; I love you infinitely, value how you inspire me, and healthily challenge me.
So after moving, I was finally trying to get my bearings back in Michigan (I had just moved from Michigan to Indiana months before to live with Jase in Indiana-so here I am again swapping states…again) and settle in despite the fact that the majority of my possessions are still in storage including my bicycle…or so I thought! The week of July 11, 2025, I went to go get my bike out of storage to realize it was more than likely a casualty in the quick move. I was broken hearted and felt deep loss because my bike was a special vintage Schwinn that was given to me from a dear friend (it was actually his Mom’s who had passed away and he made me promise to take care of it). I felt I let him, his mom, and myself down on top of having to go into the “sarcophagus” to find it.
You see…I had been CALLED to look for my bicycle because it’s never my heart to go to my storage unit. Holy Spirit had other plans and literally told me that I needed an active hobby. My hobbies include playing music, singing, listening to music, board/card games, video games (so excited for Aion 2-IYKYK), being in nature, cooking, and spending time with family and friends. I also LOVE driving my car so naturally Holy Spirit combined some of my most healthy and beloved activities into one and told me to get a bike. Abba SO knows our hearts entirely; there is no hiding from him…and there’s nothing big and small he doesn’t care about…he loves his children! So obviously, He knew the perfect way for me to be active, get beautiful scenery, and drive (not having to use gasoline is a perk too! 😉).
It’s no secret that things are not ideal at my job. I cried out to Abba, “How do I do this? I didn’t budget out for this! I need gasoline this week to get to and from work. I don’t have a lot of money right now and you’re asking me to do something impossible!” The only response I got, “Do it.” The answer was simplistic and I felt like a dog getting a command to be honest (short and sweet for the furbabies-LOL)! I also know the consequences of my disobedience so it wasn’t long before I was lead to search on Facebook Marketplace and before I knew it…I was directed to the Holy Spirit approved bicycle for me (Parethesis Rabbit Hole: I had no idea there was a difference in men’s and women’s bicycles so I learned something new! I got a man’s bicycle and I love it no less because I was guided to it and felt Holy Spirit literally picked it out for me!). It was another Schwinn, black paint, and perfect for what I was being called to do.
I reached out to a pleasant gentleman who was selling the bicycle that was in EXCELLENT condition for $60. I asked if he would take $40 for it (I was trying to be obedient and frugal) and the man agreed to $40. I met up with him the next day to make the exchange at the local police station which wasn’t far from his home but 40 minutes from my home. He rode the bike to the police station so I knew it worked perfectly. We greeted each other, he told me a bit about the bicycle and then he helped me load the bike into my tiny car (which down the road I ended up strapping the bike down to my car with cohesive medical bandage wrap - I had a modern MacGuyver moment). When I went to pay him, he refused to take the money. I insisted and even tried giving him $20 but he still did not want the money. I felt defeated until Holy Spirit said in that moment, “This is God working through this man; accept it.” My heart became instantly humbled as I felt God’s love. I instantly hugged the man before I was able to share God’s plan for me being more active and how his generosity affected my life. I’m STILL overwhelmed with gratitude and I want to shout out to Kurt for being so kind. My heart of gratitude never changes even on my worst days…that gratitude (especially for Jesus’s sacrifice) pulls me back into God’s light every single time. If you haven’t seen the video link above…watch it and it also contributes to this idea of gratitude here.
So, I am not SUPER mechanically inclined but I want to be (another thing Abba knows about my heart). I decided to upgrade the bicycle seat which meant I needed to take the seat off…so I did… with no instructions or YouTube video. Usually, if I take something apart…I can put it back together. Well taking the seat off was easy…putting it back on was more difficult and I probably made a “rookie mistake” because I got the bicycle seat rod stuck in the frame when I wanted to test how the seat felt when I sat on it; I had to research how to get it OUT!!! I was certainly frustrated at that point and eventually 4 things I would've never put together…YouTube, WD40, American muscle, and gravity were my helpers with that. After I got the seat back on the rod (I knew what not to do this time around) I didn’t attach the rod to the bicycle because I wanted to paint the bicycle (I got black holographic glitter paint that is EPIC)! So I painted it (which turned out neat-still needing another coat) but I quickly realized when I went to roll it in the garage the tires weren’t rolling and it seemed like the brakes were stuck (that is where the American muscle and gravity came in-it jarred the brakes and now they are stuck). I am in the process of trying to find the right person to look at it for me because it’s now Autumn (my favorite season) and I am CRAVING to go on adventures with my bicycle. I don’t even want to paint it again until I get it scoped out.
The point to all of this is….if you or someone you know is struggling to see where God is working in your life, start with an open heart of gratitude and obedience without expecting anything. Open yourself up to Holy Spirit and practice The Way, Truth, and Life Jesus created for us! The past is dead and God is working in our lives NOW! Focus on the healthy people that love you unconditionally and the things you already have; anything beyond that The ONLY Waymaker, God provides even if it’s not what our human selves imagine that to look like (and even when we goof thinking we are mechanically inclined-LOL).
This bike is even more special to me despite my short time riding it but when the bicycle is finished (soon hopefully)…every time I go on a ride, I’ll always remember how Holy Spirit moved, God’s love for me, and Kurt’s kindness. Money comes, and money goes but as for me, I will always long for opportunities to remain steadfast in obedience and especially in my relationship with Jesus and loyalty to God.
If you’re a child of God, you have NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain by trusting Yahweh. 💚
There are no coincidences with God, and for that I am…
#Satisfied
