#6 - “No More Tears & Sor-rose”
I’m a big fan of The Golden Girls…so I am going to alter a line from Sophia…“Let me tell you a story. Picture it: Sicily, 1922…
Okay so not quite 1922 nor Sicily…but USA, 2019. My “Grampa” Larry was in the process of being promoted to Heaven. Before his health changed…this man served others his whole life: a sailor in The Navy, a career in firefighting (Parenthesis Rabbit Hole here: This man was initially too short to serve on Elkhart’s fire department so he stretched his spine out on his daughter’s swingset enough for him to serve…this was some extraordinary dedication to put his life on the line and serve the community!), a husband, a father, and grandfather, biblical community, carving clubs, painter, etc. One thing I can most assuredly tell you…he was a humble servant of Abba who loved Jesus with every cell of his being. In fact, I remember my Mom asking him, “Who is the first person you want to see and talk with in Heaven?” His immediate response with the biggest smile on his face, “Jesus.”. One doesn’t easily forget that response…especially after witnessing the following story.
To paint a broader perspective of this man’s faith and strength he beat cancer three different times and each one was a different type…none of which had killed him. Unfortunately as we age, we continue to fight tough physical battles here on Earth and he would eventually pass away October 28, 2019 from residual effects of Alzheimer’s and aging.
My grandparents had 3 daughters. My mom was the youngest daughter. The two older girls (my Aunts/my mom’s sisters) are nurses (they both followed in Gram’s footsteps as she was also a nurse). Gram and Grampa lived with their oldest daughter “my Auntie” (my Gram still lives with Auntie-IYKYK). This is important because the days preceding my grandfather’s death my Mom who I interviewed for this story was over at my Auntie and Grandparent’s house frequently to spend as much time with her Dad as she could before he got his blessing to meet Jesus in Heaven. Prior to his spirit’s promotion, my mom and dad were actually set to go to Las Vegas for a vacation, but ended up cancelling it at the last minute because things were uncertain with God’s timing that surrounded my Grampa (as they usually are with these delicate situations). She was grateful to have made the hard call because she got extra time with her father that she would never get back and the time with him was more precious than her vacation. My family has never handled stress well and at the time we had a lot of cigarette smokers on the front porch of the house. My mom wasn’t used to being around the smoke and ended up getting a sinus infection due to being around it so much and wasn’t physically feeling well. Even though my Grampa couldn’t hear or see…she dedicatedly read the Bible to him and having that time together was so healthy for her. The day of his heavenly promotion, I was napping with him prior to his last breaths. I had no idea it was that time…I just knew I was exhausted and that I was going to miss him terribly. I was woken up and notified that it was time. I got up and made room for my Gram and the rest of my family but I still surrounded him with them. And then…God took him to Heaven…and there’s NO doubt in my mind that is EXACTLY where that man went. I can say this with utmost conviction because stories of people passing happen everyday…but the aftermath of Grampa’s new life is miraculous in a multitude of ways.
My Mom couldn’t be at the house after he had passed. She wanted away from the smoke and didn’t want to be there when they took his body away…she couldn’t handle it and rightfully so. Side note, my Grampa was known by our family to enjoy Jack Daniels in his coffee from time to time so when my parents left they picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels Honey and later returned to do a shot in his honor but for the time being, she had to get out of the house because she was not feeling well physically or emotionally. Three days had passed and it was now Halloween 2019. We still had plenty of family from out of town and my mom picked up all the kids from the house to take them to a movie; prior to the movie she had let them all pick out candy from the dollar store because they weren’t able to go Trick or Treating. After the movie when they got out there were HUGE, FAT, HEAVY, WET snowflakes hitting the ground…again…it’s October. She obviously wasn’t thrilled as she was still feeling physically exhausted and drained from being ill. So when she dropped off the kids, she did NOT come inside; she physically and emotionally just couldn’t do it. The kids get out of the car and go inside the house.
On the way home (which is approximately a 10 minute drive from point A to point B), she began talking to her dad (my Grampa) that had passed away 3 days prior. It occurred to my mom, “What if he can’t hear me? What if I am talking and he just doesn’t hear me?” As she pulled into her garage she was sitting in park, “snot bubble crying” she said “Dad, if you don’t let me know that you hear me…I am going to stop talking to you. I just won’t talk to you anymore because this feels ridiculous. I don’t care what you do to let me know. I don’t care if you send a cardinal to tap on my window or put a rose on my bush…but you better do something that I know that you can hear me or I am done.” Which hindsight she describes as a “bratty attitude” but that’s just where she was at in her fluctuating stages of grief. So she came into her home and dried her face up and never said a word to ANYONE (not even my dad) about the conversation in the car. My mom described the days coming and going, our family all got purple heart tattoos in honor of him (he had a hematoma on his hand before he passed away that looked like a purple heart which was fitting since he was in the military), and the funeral, visiting with family before they left, etc. And before we knew it…our families went back home and things were settling down into “a new normal”.
Grampa’s funeral was on a Friday. Saturday there was heavy hail falling from the sky. My mom even recorded it from her phone that day as well. She describes it as “weird weather. It should’ve killed everything to be honest.” The following Sunday my mom was preparing for my daughter’s 16th birthday party which my mom themed it in red and yellow roses…even the birthday cake had red roses on it. We all gathered at my parent’s house (they have a beautiful home on a lake). Dad was on the lakeside raking and mom was in the house preparing the decorations and food. Dad came to their sliding glass door and asked my mom for matches and she opened the drawer to get the matchsticks out and when she took them over to him he looked at her and said, “Hey by the way, have you seen your roses?” And she said, “What?” He replied, “Your little rose bush out front.” Surprised she said, “No…why?” He said, “Oh you should go look at it.” She ran out to the front where the mini rose bush was (she got from my brother and his wife for mother’s day in May). So as she is looking over her rose bush, she counts EXACTLY 12 rosebuds on the bush…she literally sees a dozen roses. She looks up to the sky and says, “You are a such a show off.” out loud to my Grampa. My dad comes around the corner and says, “Isn’t that cool? Isn’t that neat?” Again, it’s November…not the time for roses to be BLOOMING. My mom begins to openly sob and my dad instantly got confused, “What is going on? What is wrong?” So then my mom explains why the situation is so meaningful and the story that leads up to that point. My dad is logically skeptical in my opinion; my mom describes him as “skeptical in the miraculous”...which is important. So at that point it had only been a week or so that he had mowed the lawn prior to that moment and he said, “It’s like that thing grew overnight.” My mom said it didn’t just bloom with roses but it also grew taller! The rose bush had always been smaller. My mom continued to sob and my dad was in a state of awe. So later on my family all arrive at their house and my mom is trying to explain through ”snot bubble tears” what had all transpired up to that point. So she snipped some of the roses off the bush and added it to my daughter’s birthday theme (which she would have NEVER known the connection with roses as she pre-planned the theme of her party). These roses didn’t bloom ALL YEAR LONG. I still have some of those roses pressed in my 5 Love Languages book to be honest. The “cherry on top of the story” as my mom describes it is the next day which would be Monday. My mom went into her room to have prayer time as she does every morning. The Lord specifically spoke to her, “Dead men do not put roses on bushes.” That’s all he said and she knew that was a gift from her heavenly father…not her dad. Her dad couldn’t put roses on a bush after he passed away…but Abba can…and it was a personal gift from Him that her dad was okay. God still loves and cares about the “bratty snot bubble crying kid in the garage” that needs to know her dad is okay. This was God’s doing…God is our heavenly father and he loves all of His children.
I asked my mom two questions before I ended the interview, “Is there anything else you want to add?” She answered, “The rose bush is still blooming.” I even checked the last time I was over…it’s gorgeous. The rose bush would still stand even after being ran over by a vehicle, after being heavily hailed on, after being substantially snowed on, and after NOT blooming from May to November. My mom said, “You could have a botanist come and try to explain it but The Lord spoke to me and that’s all I need to know.”
The second question I asked her, “What is one thing you want people to know about you or your faith?” She couldn’t answer that at the time because it’s a deep question but I got a text days later and she replied, “I’m a lifelong sinner made righteous only by God’s grace and the blood of Jesus Christ. I love talking to God and always look forward to hearing Him speak to me in my heart and through HIs written word.”
For my mom’s inspirational faith, my Grampa’s life here and in Heaven, and God’s miracles…I am…
#Satisfied.
