1: #Satisfied
I’m going to open this blog with a couple honest and very important disclaimers.
#1: I don’t want to discourage you from reading this blog because I am a vessel on this Earth and the gratitude I feel from being obedient doesn’t involve numbers or personal pride. I do feel pride though, it’s not mine and it’s it’s nothing good I’ve done but rather, authentically opening myself up to Holy Spirit to flood my free will; this unparalleled obedience never fails to bring me the purest most precious feelings of the love and pride from Abba. I’d like to say that this always leaves me satisfied, but I always feel more than satisfied and so very blessed. This could seem contradictory to the blog’s name but I’ll get into that in a moment. So if by chance that no one ever reads this…I would be at perfect peace with that because in the end…I know what I am doing is Holy Spirit driven. There is never failure in obedience to Jesus, friends.
#2 So when I wanted to blog again, I was apprehensive because I hadn’t used my God given gifts appropriately in the past. It’s easy to say “that was then, and this is now…but my free willed repentance and through the blood of Jesus, I am made new. I wanted a new beginning and I got one because I was called; even through significant yet temporary losses. Does any of this mean that I am perfect? Absolutely not. It means I am forgiven. It means that I am made new and that I know that I am not perfect; this also means that I cannot live my life without The Holy Spirit guiding me closely, Jesus Christ showing me The Way, Truth, and Life, and Abba loving me unconditionally enough to give us His only Son. I lived that life where I had none of that and that is a life I will NEVER desire to go back to because I have previously hurt a lot of people the last 5 years and collectively my whole life as we all have. I could try to “fine tooth comb through” all the names and circumstances but at this point in my life, I would like to have an open apology so if you feel the following is for you…it probably is. If not, please bear with me as I am always growing. If you’re reading this, and I have hurt you in the past…I genuinely apologize. I am not the same; that person no longer exists. If you’re reading this and I steered you in any direction other than to Jesus…I’m deeply apologizing. I was wrong, I continue to grow, I know the truth now, and I am not the same. As I have repented and I know that I am free, sometimes in life we don’t always get the opportunities to apologize with distance, every day life, and personal boundaries involved. So, it’s on my heart to apologize and I hope and pray you’re able to accept it and are able to forgive me. It’s pivotal to realize that I have been on the journey back to Christ since my near death experience in 2020 but it took awhile to realize it because I ran; I was scared. You met me in a time of fear but I was too prideful to say anything because that meant being vulnerable. The freedom I have now is unparalleled because I know Jesus fills my heart and my life now. To put my transformation the best way possible, I am going to quote Dallas Jenkins’ show The Chosen where Mary Magdalene is explaining her personal transformation, "I was one way, and now I'm completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him." It is such an honestly blunt way of putting it; Jesus Christ changed me and I am one of His many followers who cannot and will never go back to my previous life. I long to bless Abba with whatever I have and in my opinion the most precious “thing” we have here is time…so I give my time and obedience. There is never failure in obedience to Jesus, friends.
Moving on to how this all came about and getting the title for this project is really interesting because I have always had and continue to have an affinity for writing. I had blogs in the past, I’ve written poetry since elementary school, I’ve written stories on and off my whole life, I write songs, in college and even after I wrote research papers, etc. Out of all of the things I have written, I never wanted to blog again because of my past and how I used this gift. However, I truly believe Abba has other plans for me this time around because I am a new creation. My church offers “Freedom Sessions” which are ridiculously powerful. A Freedom Session is an AMAZING 3 hour long prayer session and it’s VERY Holy Spirit driven. There is more to the sessions as it is a personalized experience and it is something you sign up for. I encourage you to research this further by visiting: https://www.wellspringsoffreedom.com. I had my second Freedom Session a little over a week ago and afterwards, Holy Spirit prompted me to write this blog I inevitably submitted to titling, “#Satisfied”. I value obedience so here we are. The mission statement for this blog is:
“#Satisfied is a non-fictional testimonial & Holy Spirit driven blog about being infinitely satisfied in my relationship with King Jesus, the ways that Holy Spirit moves me, and sharing about God’s unconditional love through experiences and The Truth we know as The Bible. In essence, these are genuine thoughts and true stories filled with extraordinary miracles, everyday blessings, mixed with authentic personal experiences and genuine thoughts. This blog is a small part of my journey to purposefully fulfill carrying my cross. I crave to continually share about the abundant satisfaction that God’s only Son Jesus made possible to experience.”
Through the experiences I have had and continue to have, I gain wisdom and growth. Proverbs (all about Wisdom) was the first entire book that I had read in The Bible. My Mom (bless her heart-I love her LOL) was trying to get me to read it for YEARS before I actually read it; she’s amazing at being relentless in the best of ways. One random day, I finally ended up reading Proverbs so that the next time she asked me…I could surprise her. After reading it, I gushed to her about how I felt like I should have read it years ago when I was being encouraged by her to do so. I wish that I could choose a favorite Proverbs verse to share with you guys but the book as a whole holds a special place in my heart. I will say that Proverbs 27:17 in God’s Truth tells us that “Iron Sharpens Iron.” This correlates with my missinon statement for this blog because ultimately, I long to help impact others by being vulnerable and sharing these experiences and stories because they’re NOT too good to be true…they are TRUE! As my amazing biblical community helps sharpen me, I’d like to help sharpen anyone and everyone with as much authenticity as possible.
So I sat down two days later after my Freedom Session and asked Holy Spirit, “What will I even name this project you’re calling me to move on and what does this look like?!” For me, finding a name has always been difficult for projects (or characters for my fellow nerdy table top game players or video gamers out there) but oddly rewarding in the end because utilizing my creativity is always fun for me. I really wanted to use the word “Hosanna” in the name for the blog because it’s a cry out to Abba to “save us”. I got no answers nor confirmation on that idea. Instead every idea kept getting overrun by a vision with an interesting logo that had “#Satisfied” on it (which became the logo you see on the website). I will confess I got annoyed because it seemed “simple” and “too easily given”. I’m a firm believer that if I can dissect something (most recently my bicycle parts) I can usually put it back together. I dissected this idea Holy Spirit gave me to discern it further; this had to be right and it has to continuously glorify Jesus. To dissect it, I immediately went to the definition of “Satisfied”. Initially, I was discouraged because I don’t feel JUST satisfied with how God works, how Holy Spirit moves, and how Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave to be alive in us and with us. I am eternally beautifully broken by the grace I have received and the opportunity to share the peace and true love that I have experienced with everyone who reads this and hopefully beyond.
To my surprise, the word “Satisfy” has several important definitions that I gathered from random dictionaries and online resources.
To carry out the terms of something (like a contract).
To meet a financial obligation to.
To make reparation to (like an injured party).
To make happy.
To gratify to the full.
To put an end to (doubt or uncertainty).
To conform to.
To please someone by giving them what they want or need.
To have or provide something that is needed or wanted.
To fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, wants, or demands.
To put an end to.
To give assurance to.
To solve or dispel as doubt.
To make true by fulfilling a condition.
Mathematics: of a value unknown to change (an equation) into an identity when substituted for the unknown: x = 7 satisfies 8x=56.
Down to the last definition, ALL of that applies to my relationship with Jesus in various ways, even down to the mathematical definition. I’ll apply these definitions as I go along as it would be all too easy to spell it out; the best way to do this is to be able to apply these definitions as I go along. Maybe I’ll even find more definitions for “Satisfy”. Maybe one day I will come up with my own definition. For now, I am leaving it at the simplest definitions to give you a broader view. Am I still more than satisfied? Absolutely. Unabashedly.
I’ll end this blog with an amusing side note. The blog title’s hashtag is amusing to me because anyone that truly knows me…knows I really dislike technology for the most part. I feel that’s God’s humor when Holy Spirit showed me the logo for this blog. And a fun interesting fact, the # is on the number 3 on computer keyboards; the number for The Holy Trinity (that part is more than likely a coincidence but it’s neat nonetheless). I hope you enjoy this journey as much as I enjoy sharing God’s truth and about his unending love for us.
I’m Ever Kelsey, a child of God; abundantly satisfied.
#Satisfied
