#23 - The Game Plan
Hi Friends!!! I know it’s been awhile and I have had quite a healthy break from writing. Initially, I was feeling like I was done unless I was moved…well…I was moved. I’m not myself without writing but I am even more not myself without a divinely given Game Plan from God as I (and everyone else) battle against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12). This blog is one of my many battle cries. So here I am…as I promised…being obedient in the midst of war.
So allow me to update you a bit and get into some neat things God has been doing in my life. I will write about a few “game plans” God has put in my life during this break. These game plans may be numbered for organizational purposes, but none of them are above the other as I am having to delicately balance them all together.
Game Plan #1: The Wrist
I am still have complications with my wrist. I recently had an MRI that revealed that it’s still broken and not healing due to abnormal bone marrow flow but thanks be to God…no tendon or ligament injuries. I am not sure what this means for my wrist right now, but I am being sent to physical therapy and a pain management doctor…for now. I am in the process of allowing God to guide me to the right doctor to take a look at all of this for a second opinion as I seek solutions…not band-aids.
Game Plan #2: The College
I am still trying to figure out what is next for my college career. For the longest time I truly believed that I was being called into Christian counseling…however I have realized recently that I am pretty burned out from some difficult things to face and dissect. I feel I am being led into another direction which I may possibly bring up in a later blog as I am still in a state if discernment.
Game Plan #3: The Band
It seems to finally be happening. I came across a talented drummer and have been trying to correlate with others to get a cover band together to simply jam and maybe have gigs here and there for the fun of music. Recently, I came across a couple that had overheard that I was looking for a bass and lead guitarist. Oddly (and non-coincidentally enough), the husband does lights and sound for the band Memphis Underground and the wife was inspiring because she said, “I went back to college at 42 for vocal science and I never regretted it a day in my life. You can go back to college at any age but if you’re going to do it, do it now…don’t wait on it too long.” When she went back to college…she was a year older than I am. I am praying Holy Spirit leads me into the direction He wants me to go in.
Game Plan #4: The Worship Team
As I am consulting with Jathan regarding the band, he was inquisitive about worship team, “If you want to be in a band, why not try out for worship team?” Fair point, and one I intend to pursue no matter what that looks like. I am completely exhausted allowing the enemy to tell me that I am not good enough…doing things that make us uncomfortable is the fight…it is war against the enemy. Our worship is praise to God that are battle cries of faith and power. I previously reached out to find out who I need to contact but I never followed through. It’s time to follow through and prepare two songs.
Game Plan #5: The Families
Believe it or not…I am still adjusting to having 4 awesome children in my immediate family, making effort to visit my family 45 mins away, keep up with my amazing daughter across the country, stay in touch with friends, and nourish a healthy relationship with Jathan. Sometimes it can all get overwhelming depending on schedules, work schedules, appointments, bills, medical bills, lawyer, battles, house work, lawn work, maintenance upkeeps, church, Bible reading, devotionals, prayer, taking care of 5 cats and a german shepherd doggo, classes, moods, planning a wedding, triggers, self-care time, trying to love others like Jesus, and day to day life. We are blessed to have a counseling game plan together and have two wonderful physical counselors to help guide us through pre-marital counseling. I am certainly learning a lot!!!
Game Plan #6: The Physical
I have a strict game plan to intermittently fast from 9pm to Noon each day (even on the weekends). I feel like since I hit 40.5…my body did NOT function the same, and it certainly feels as such-LOL! I am trying to do things differently to help my body out so what better way than to do a daily fast, and get a game plan to work out again.
Game Plan #7: The Blog
And here we are! What does all of this mean for HashtagSatisfied? I took my break…but God gave me another game plan for this blog and I will be writing monthly instead of weekly!!! I may do some series in the future but I think I am going to just be led each week. No pre-made graphic. No agenda. No itinerary. NO GAME PLAN. Just good old (new) fashioned Holy Spirit guided writing like this blog today. I will have these blogs posted the weekend before the first of every month…fresh…raw…and ready to serve your ecosystems like spiritual sushi! And for the record, HashtagSatisfied’s Facebook page is still up. I also plan to rebrand a little bit as well. As always, if you have stories or testimonies of how God is moving in your life and you want them shared…feel free to reach out!!! That being said…I DO have a story for you all before I end this particular blog.
I work at a busy health care clinic and from day 1, I had a problem with a colleague that seemed unhappy that I was hired on to do my job. I wasn’t always treated well, so in turn…I did my best to avoid doing anything that made this colleague feel unwanted at work. Eventually, tensions rose because doing my job is a struggle with my wrist the way that it is and we both ended up in our boss’s office at separate times to be talked with. It was uncomfortable…but necessary. Things didn’t change much after that. One day, she told me about her best friend that was in ICU and I was Holy Spirit guided to stop for a moment of spiritual warfare and prayer to God…which of course I acted in obedience. Later on that day, she updated me that her friend seemed to be doing better, praise Abba!!! I heard nothing more after that but Jathan and I’s nightly prayers….I prayed for this colleage. Animosities remained and I continued to try to help her out as much as I could while showing her that she is wanted, needed, and valued by me (though very difficult at times) and the company. One day, I overheard my colleague crying and telling others that her best friend passed away as I was getting my lunch. It’s noon…I am hangry at that point-LOL! I just grabbed my lunch and carried on with my day despite Holy Spirit guiding me to give my verbal condolences. With the un-comfortability still there…/I/ had no words but Holy Spirit certainly did…and I didn’t allow Him to flow through me. I ate lunch and carried on with my day…like a jerk. LOL! One day the animosities randomly…just stopped. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know where it came from. My immediate thought, “I must be getting fired, she’s too happy.” LOL! Day 2…still seems to be on good terms. Interesting. Day 3 she asks me, “Are you going to be here next Tuesday? I’m going to my friend’s funeral.” She wanted to make sure I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment or physical therapy and that the clinic was covered for our jobs. I said, “Of course.” Over the weekend I prayed, and listened to Holy Spirit. Tuesday came around, I came in early. I saw my colleague’s empty seat there and somehow felt her grief each time I saw the empty chair. I had wondered about her thoughts and her well-being. I had already been thinking about doing something nice for her randomly but this time I was guided, convicted, and compelled to make a move. I bought her a flowered plant and wrote her a note the evening before she came back to work. I’m at the store for a good 20 minutes trying to find the “perfect” plant as I know she enjoys gardening. I see nothing. Finally, I ask Holy Spirit, “Look…I don’t know which one of these pathetic looking plants I am supposed to pick out here.” I got, “Keep walking.” So I did…I kept walking further through the store and was guided to eye-catching purple Campanulas. They had pink and white availability for them as well but Holy Spirit guided me to one specific purple plant. I take it home, paranoid our cats would get into it or it wouldn’t have enough light so it stayed in our pantry locked up with the light on that night LOL!
Now, I come into work later than my colleague does, and the next morning…she just “happened” to be away from her desk when I put the flowered plant and note on her desk. The authentic heartfelt note said:
“I had one of those cheesy tiny cards attached to these flowers for you…but I threw it away. There wasn’t enough space on the card to verbally do this justice…so here I am writing you the note you deserve.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your friend. In times like this, Elizabeth Lesser’s quote “Grief is proof of love, a demonstration of how deeply we have allowed others to touch us.” comes to my mind each time I personally feel grief. You and your friend were blessed to have each other, blessed to have the bond you had with one another, and blessed with love for one another.
You're a special person, and as I never had the pleasure or opportunity to meet your friend…I can only imagine through your love, grief, and stories how amazing she truly was. I’m grateful you had that relationship despite how painful it feels to lose her. I’m grateful you got to experience her energy, laughter, and spirit here. I’m grateful you got to experience her love.
I know this flowered plant doesn't change a thing in your grief, but I wanted you to know that my heart is with you. I made a special trip to the store yesterday to pick these Campanulas out for you. I had never seen them before and thought “These are the ones.” When I got home, Jathan had dinner ready but Holy Spirit encouraged me to look up the meaning of “Campanulas” before I ate dinner…
I wanted to cry afterwards (which is hard for me to do after all I’ve been through in my life):
“Campanula (commonly known as bellflower) primarily symbolizes gratitude, humility, and everlasting love. Its name derives from the Latin campana(meaning "little bell"), which dictates both its distinct shape and its significance as a symbol of joyous affection and constancy.”
Why did the meaning of Campanulas touch me so deeply?
-I’m grateful for you and I haven’t even known you that long…so I KNOW in my heart that your friend had deep gratitude for you as well.
-I do my best to be humble because I don’t know everything and I never will claim to. You have taught me so much since starting here. I know it hasn’t always been easy but I want you to know that I genuinely care about you and have a heart for you. Humility is something I do my best to lean into because I feel my best when I’m walking in Jesus’s humble steps…and I love that I see that in you because we share faith like that. You are a sister in Christ. I guarantee your friend also saw this and had this in you too.
-Because you have faith…you know this is not the end. You also have everlasting love with your friend here and when we get to Heaven. This isn’t goodbye…it’s “I’ll see you again in God’s timing.” You’ll never forget that love you had with her and God placed her in your life to experience that everlasting love. God knows exactly what He’s doing and His love is unparalleled for His children.
I never knew a flower I’ve never seen before could mean so much.
You’re loved…and I wanted you to know that today…and everyday. Thank you for being you and thank you for your beautiful heart for loving others.
-”Ever” Kelsey
PS: When you get the opportunity, I encourage you to look up the painting “First Day In Heaven” created in 2018 by Kerolos Safwat. My Gram has had this on her wall since my grandfather passed away and it reminded me of your friend. I pray it provides comfort for you as it has for me in times of grief. I had it added to this letter but it just didn’t do it justice.”
Here’s the kicker friends…I had no idea her favorite color was purple…I had never cared to ask.
Holy Spirit knew.
Sometimes…loving like Jesus is difficult but it’s rewarding and humbling. Bearing your cross to love others will sometimes cost you things like your pride…your resources…your time…your energy….your attention (Pastor Ted’s TEAM acronym) because we are we are created to love through sacrifice as Jesus sacrificed his LIFE to love us unconditionally. Please know that I am not sharing this out of pride because I certainly wasn’t perfect in ALL of this; I had disobeyed in the break room. I had a heart check with proper Holy Spirit conviction during a class at church. I’m sharing this because God gave me Holy Spirit’s very real direction in the midst of animosity, suffering, and daily discomfort. In my act of obedience, I had no agenda other than to love my colleague as Jesus loves me. Needless to say, things have been decent and cordial at work despite complications with my wrist and my colleague and I’s past tensions. I hope and pray that it continues as I am learning to rely on God more instead of myself. That is my current work in progress with Abba. I can have all the game plans given to me…but unless I act on them…it’s no worse that dead fruit. So part of my authenticity and accountability is to write it out here as well.
The class that Jathan and I just graduated from at church began with identity in Christ and it ended on how we can love others better and love others like Jesus, how to give our testimonies, and how to witness to others. No coincidences with God, friends...none.
If there’s ANYTHING you are struggling with…I pray that you know He cares about the big things and the little things…give it ALL to him and He will take care of you.
Until July 26th-28th…I bid you a health month ahead and pray for safety, health, laughter, good music, and Sprummer sunshine for you and your gardens!!! Oh!!! ANNND…
Here’s the Song of the “Month”
(I may post more songs on The Facebook Page weekly for fun though):
I had help picking out this song from Holy Spirit. It’s a new release that amps me up and speaks on Spiritual Warfare. It reminds us of the armor that God freely gives us. <3
For God given game plans, a healthy break, for the opportunity to have health care, for God guiding Jathan and I to that class at church, for the ability, strength, humility, and sacrifice to love like Jesus, unconditional familial and friend love, for my God given gifts, being back writing my battle cries for The Lord, for fighting the good fight in the Ephesians 6:12 war, and for the connection to Holy Spirit’s blatant, direct, and concise direction…I am…
#Satisfied
